I feel like my entire moral fiber is being tested recently. With EVERYONE in my life I feel I have an issue. Something major, something that I cant not care about or forget. Do I tell people what I think and risk loosing them? Cause if Ive learned anything is that you can know the truth; if the other person isnt ready to hear it…they’ll ditch YOU instead of fixing the problem! I dont feel like anyone sees life the way I do for the most part. I dont know, I feel like EVERYTHING is changing, like my whole reality has shifted…
I feel like Im being tested…but for once Im stepping up to the plate! I’m moving forward! But its like going forward when the world not so much is going backwards but more like TOPSY TURVY WHICH WAY IS UP. So does being the only sane person in the world make you crazy? Either I’m changing and growing out of ALOT of people, or they’re changing too and we just havent finished yet…? Or maybe, hopefully, transition will help us all be better?
Anyways if I didnt have my boyfriend, my lover, my life partner really; i would REALLY be lost. He is my rock, my friend. He sees me, he leaves me be, he loves me and I love him. We are FAR from having a normal relationships, whatever normal is supposed to be. And we dont always come off as being what we really are when we’re home together, in our day to day lives. I really believe we’re in this together, and that makes me happier than anything
And after a LONG (incredibly) long period of limbo, like I mentioned I am finally moving forward. At MY own speed and it feels like I’m at the right place. In my career mostly, but also in my dealing with my past, my ghosts, my questions. Ive made the right choice…and I’m ready. Fear does not paralyze me and my anger makes me stronger cause my anger is no longer paralyzing either…
